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9 of Skulls

I was concerned about some things at the office, and this card answered it for me. I now feel secure and free to enjoy the fruits of my labor I know that I have the comfort that everything is working out fine, and that I will be able to enjoy what I have worked so hard for.

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The cat and the monkey

Tonight I journeyed once more. I began as usual, descending into the cave, however tonight I took extra care to feel around and look at the outside before my descent. I had the intention tonight of learning to love myself more. For too long in my life, I had been drowning in self-hate and doubt. My previous lesson taught me to learn myself more, but I wanted an answer on how to do so. The answer, is an answer my snake guide has given me many times in the past.

Once I encountered my snake, he told me to start by just relaxing. We wandered together in the cave a bit, then I layed down on the ground, feeling the Earth around me. Soon, a small domestic cat came to us. He would get jittery and jump around and run from place to place whenever he would hear something small. I felt this message that I myself had been too jumpy, and not relaxed at all in my life. By being so tense, I have been missing out on much in life. But, even the cat knows how to relax. The cat then came and walked on top of me, and kneaded my stomach for a while. During this time, I let myself go and relaxed myself. Still, my mind would wander a bit, but I kept letting the thoughts flow out.

I then got up, and walked further into the cave with the snake and cat. I was then telepathically told to watch my breathing, and pay attention to it. I needed to take slower, deeper breaths. As I did so, I eventually encountered a monkey, balancing himself on his one arm and breathing deeply, meditating. I felt my lesson here was that even a monkey with monkey-mind can learn to relax itself. I was told to just keep focusing on my breathing, let all thoughts come and go, but come back to focus on my breathing.  Still my mind would wander. I even ended up having a dream withini this meditation. I felt myself flying, like an angel or a Celestian from Dragon Quest IX. I would fly through the clouds higher and higher. I got nervous as I broke through the clouds to the upper realm, feeling myself not read, I went lower and just enjoyed the feeling of flight. I soon then returned to my state of meditation together with the monkey, still on one arm, and the cat curled up, and the snake watching over me. The rest of the time down there, I learned to meditate, to watch my breathing, and to just relax….

Soon the drums called me back. This was my first 25 minute journey, but it was well worth the time. I never learn the lesson I quite expect when I go in with my intention, but I trust that my guides are leading me down the right path. To love myself more, I need to relax myself much more..

Returning to the Lower World

Reawakening the Spirit

My journeys today took me back into the Lower World. It has been almost a month since I have last journeyed, so it took some time for my spirit to delve into the Otherworlds. I layed on the floor, on top of a fur-like rug. Pillows behind my head, candles lit ahead of me, Nag Champa incense burning nearby, and my computer playing my favorite Shamanic drumming track. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine myself descending into my usual cave. The entrance to the cave I usually use is one I have visited in Bermuda. Surrounded by red flowers on the surface, you start to descend into the darkness. The ground is stone and damp from the cave. Tonight, it took a bit of time to get used to returning to this place. I entered tonight with the intention on finding a way to keep focus, particularly with my job. Too often my mind wanders or I can get stuck and easily discouraged. Tonight, my snake guide was once again willing to oblige. He began by speaking directly into my mind, telling me to relax. Next, he told me to feel my breath. Breath deeply, and slowly. I had my hand on my chest, feeling it rise and fall as I breathed deep. “Isn’t it wonderful to be alive? You are alive Kanowa!”(he actually called me by my real first name here, the first time he has ever addressed me by name). I then began to appreciate the very state of being alive. Life is amazing, and here I am, being able to live in this present time! This whole time, while I am experiencing all these wonderful revelations, I am still maintaing myself in the Lower World. From time to time, a thought would break me out since my mind is so active, but I just let it pass and put myself back into the other world.

Now, the next step up from this lesson was the big one for the night. Once I appreciated being alive, I was told to learn to love myself. To feel my body, my existence, my spirit and all that makes me unique. I started to gently beat my crystals onto my chest in tune with the drums. I was able to physically feel my own existence, and begin to love who I was. I have a unique body. Perhaps I am not in my perfect shape, but I AM ME! And I love me! This is my existence, and why should I waste time and energy hating who I am! Love who you are now, and you will then have the potential to do whatever you so wish in life! Nothing can hold you back! This was the key my snake companion was trying to lead me to. I came in with the intention of learning what I needed to do to focus better in my life, and the key to this was simply just loving yourself… And now, I am beginning to love all I am. My uniqueness, physically, mentally, spiritually.. I am a creation of life, and here for a certain purpose. It is time to love this current existence, so I can reach my full potential.

I am not used to having self-love, and this had made others in my life suffer. I have not been the easiest person to get along when I was too busy hating myself. I am now going to work on training myself to love who I am. My spirit has been deeply injured by self injury, and now it is the time to heal. After this lesson was taught to me in my journey, my snake guide told me to just lay down and relax. I had much to take in, and I was spiritually ill, I needed to rest and recover. Instead of returning to the surface earlier, I stayed in the cave, laying down and resting. Smaller snaked slithered on me warmly, sometimes gently squeezing my arm, letting me know that I am loved an how special my existence is. When the drums called me back, I felt as if a new chapter of my life had begun. My snake companion beckoned for me to return here at once daily, and I am now going to. I feel results in my life are now on the way.

Picture taken from here

 

 

Power of Love

I had the wonderful escalation of love yesterday. When love is shared between two souls, there is nothing more powerful. You feel happy, inspired, fulfilled, ready to take on the world. If you can have that special connection with someone, it will fill your soul and take you onto the path of joy. If you have not yet found your soul mate or that special person with which to share love, you must first find love with yourself. Yesterday, because of that connection shared with another, I felt more myself than I have ever felt before.

Highwayman

I just had a wonderful experience, sharing this song Highwayman by the Highwaymen with my companion. This is one of my favorite songs sung by one of my favorite singers, Johnny Cash, who is alongside a few other country legends. I am not a fan of country music usually, but Cash has released some amazing songs. This song follows a theme of rebirth, something I am starting to discover myself. I do believe that your spirit does carry on in some form, and it is possible for you to choose your next life to return to this plane for a new reason. I also love how this song connects with the four elements in each lifetime.

Highwayman- Fire as it connects with the sword and gun

Sailor- connects with the Water

Dam worker- constructing with the Earth

Space pilot- flying deep into the skies, connecting with the Air element

This song is wonderful and it gives me goosebumps, and it felt so nice to share this together with someone.

The first step on my journey

I am beginning my first step on this journey today. This WordPress blog shall be my personal home to add all my thoughts of the day, whatever that may be interesting me. This shall be me releasing what is inside onto the whole world. It shall also be a token of time, a place I can look back and see what I was experiencing at different points in my life.

To start with, I have suffered a great weight fluctuation this year. I have taken action this week to rectify it, losing over 7 pounds in just 5 days. The diet I was on had me eating every 2 hours, 5 times a day.

Meal 1: Egg whites with vegetables

Meal 2: 2 oz Chicken with vegetables

Meal 3: 2 oz Chicken with vegetables and 1/2 cup of brown rice

Meal 4: 2oz Talibut fish with vegetables

Meal 5: 2 oz  Chicken with vegetables

However, this all came at a cost. I was on a diet that was too strict and left me with too little energy to operate normally. While running errands during lunch, the pain became unbearable. I caved and had a delicious Chipotle Burrito, something fresh to bring me back into a normal lifestyle. I am now going to be in the habit of just eating healthier and eating less.  That burrito has satisfied me for a long time, and should be enough for the rest of my evening. I will continue to lose weight, but at my own pace.

There are other aspects of my life now that I am going to reconnect with. As I have stated in my about page, I have been getting into Shamanism since last summer, and have seen so many great results manifest from it in my life. I need to begin to meditate & journey more, and discover more of the worlds that are beyond our own. I also have a great passion for gadgets, video games and computer programming. I have recently been discovering Windows Presentation Foundation (WPF) and Microsoft Expression Blend to create beautiful User Interfaces (UIs) inside of Windows programs.

Recently I have also been creating and playing inside of Little Big Planet 2. The first Little Big Planet was really my introduction to the PlayStation 3, my favorite of all the current consoles. While I own all the big 3 consoles, my PS3 has been getting the most attention since it’s come into my life.  I pre-ordered the Collector’s Edition LBP2 back in July when it was first announced. I am so glad to experience this game now, they have made it simpler to create levels, yet you can make it all so much more complicated. I look forward to exploring it more in the coming days.

Now, I realize I have posted a lot, and my future blog posts will probably be more specific, but this is a fresh beginning to give you all a sense of my essence.

Peace be with you.

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