9 of Skulls

I was concerned about some things at the office, and this card answered it for me. I now feel secure and free to enjoy the fruits of my labor I know that I have the comfort that everything is working out fine, and that I will be able to enjoy what I have worked so hard for.

Subconscious and the Soul

I have just been doing some contemplation on my Shamanic meditations. Often when I am in that state, I can doubt what I am seeing or experiencing and be snapped out. I know that even if my mind creates it, it is still important and part of the vision, but I think I am gaining a deeper understanding of that. When we journey and allow our subconscious to take over, that is our soul at its purest form. We are beyond just flesh and blood. We are all spiritual beings, and the subconscious untouched IS that spirit. What you experience in these dreams, visions and meditations are deep messages that are coming to you for a reason, from Source. Your spirit connects with that pure source when you allow it too. Do not stress if you are creating something in your mind, when you are allowing your subconscious to control, it is all genuine and important to look into.

Drink from the waters

I went in tonight with the intent of travelling to the upper world to meet my Gods/Goddesses. It took some time and work to break through the clouds, and when I did, it did not last long. A being of light greeted me warmly, but let me know I had more lessons to learn first in the lower world. I descended down, ending up in a river in the forest. I floated relaxed, once again encountering the bear I had met in my past recently, who helped me control my breathing while I floated downstream, allowing the water to flow with me. In between this time it was fuzzy as I was deep into the subconscious, but the next thing I remember is my snake joining me, telling me to please drink from the river. I did, feeling that I needed to replenish my soul. If I am to continue onward, I need to keep replenishing myself. I also felt compelled to do simple meditations to relax my mind more. Healing shall be happening now within my soul.

The cat and the monkey

Tonight I journeyed once more. I began as usual, descending into the cave, however tonight I took extra care to feel around and look at the outside before my descent. I had the intention tonight of learning to love myself more. For too long in my life, I had been drowning in self-hate and doubt. My previous lesson taught me to learn myself more, but I wanted an answer on how to do so. The answer, is an answer my snake guide has given me many times in the past.

Once I encountered my snake, he told me to start by just relaxing. We wandered together in the cave a bit, then I layed down on the ground, feeling the Earth around me. Soon, a small domestic cat came to us. He would get jittery and jump around and run from place to place whenever he would hear something small. I felt this message that I myself had been too jumpy, and not relaxed at all in my life. By being so tense, I have been missing out on much in life. But, even the cat knows how to relax. The cat then came and walked on top of me, and kneaded my stomach for a while. During this time, I let myself go and relaxed myself. Still, my mind would wander a bit, but I kept letting the thoughts flow out.

I then got up, and walked further into the cave with the snake and cat. I was then telepathically told to watch my breathing, and pay attention to it. I needed to take slower, deeper breaths. As I did so, I eventually encountered a monkey, balancing himself on his one arm and breathing deeply, meditating. I felt my lesson here was that even a monkey with monkey-mind can learn to relax itself. I was told to just keep focusing on my breathing, let all thoughts come and go, but come back to focus on my breathing.  Still my mind would wander. I even ended up having a dream withini this meditation. I felt myself flying, like an angel or a Celestian from Dragon Quest IX. I would fly through the clouds higher and higher. I got nervous as I broke through the clouds to the upper realm, feeling myself not read, I went lower and just enjoyed the feeling of flight. I soon then returned to my state of meditation together with the monkey, still on one arm, and the cat curled up, and the snake watching over me. The rest of the time down there, I learned to meditate, to watch my breathing, and to just relax….

Soon the drums called me back. This was my first 25 minute journey, but it was well worth the time. I never learn the lesson I quite expect when I go in with my intention, but I trust that my guides are leading me down the right path. To love myself more, I need to relax myself much more..

Returning to the Lower World

Reawakening the Spirit

My journeys today took me back into the Lower World. It has been almost a month since I have last journeyed, so it took some time for my spirit to delve into the Otherworlds. I layed on the floor, on top of a fur-like rug. Pillows behind my head, candles lit ahead of me, Nag Champa incense burning nearby, and my computer playing my favorite Shamanic drumming track. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine myself descending into my usual cave. The entrance to the cave I usually use is one I have visited in Bermuda. Surrounded by red flowers on the surface, you start to descend into the darkness. The ground is stone and damp from the cave. Tonight, it took a bit of time to get used to returning to this place. I entered tonight with the intention on finding a way to keep focus, particularly with my job. Too often my mind wanders or I can get stuck and easily discouraged. Tonight, my snake guide was once again willing to oblige. He began by speaking directly into my mind, telling me to relax. Next, he told me to feel my breath. Breath deeply, and slowly. I had my hand on my chest, feeling it rise and fall as I breathed deep. “Isn’t it wonderful to be alive? You are alive Kanowa!”(he actually called me by my real first name here, the first time he has ever addressed me by name). I then began to appreciate the very state of being alive. Life is amazing, and here I am, being able to live in this present time! This whole time, while I am experiencing all these wonderful revelations, I am still maintaing myself in the Lower World. From time to time, a thought would break me out since my mind is so active, but I just let it pass and put myself back into the other world.

Now, the next step up from this lesson was the big one for the night. Once I appreciated being alive, I was told to learn to love myself. To feel my body, my existence, my spirit and all that makes me unique. I started to gently beat my crystals onto my chest in tune with the drums. I was able to physically feel my own existence, and begin to love who I was. I have a unique body. Perhaps I am not in my perfect shape, but I AM ME! And I love me! This is my existence, and why should I waste time and energy hating who I am! Love who you are now, and you will then have the potential to do whatever you so wish in life! Nothing can hold you back! This was the key my snake companion was trying to lead me to. I came in with the intention of learning what I needed to do to focus better in my life, and the key to this was simply just loving yourself… And now, I am beginning to love all I am. My uniqueness, physically, mentally, spiritually.. I am a creation of life, and here for a certain purpose. It is time to love this current existence, so I can reach my full potential.

I am not used to having self-love, and this had made others in my life suffer. I have not been the easiest person to get along when I was too busy hating myself. I am now going to work on training myself to love who I am. My spirit has been deeply injured by self injury, and now it is the time to heal. After this lesson was taught to me in my journey, my snake guide told me to just lay down and relax. I had much to take in, and I was spiritually ill, I needed to rest and recover. Instead of returning to the surface earlier, I stayed in the cave, laying down and resting. Smaller snaked slithered on me warmly, sometimes gently squeezing my arm, letting me know that I am loved an how special my existence is. When the drums called me back, I felt as if a new chapter of my life had begun. My snake companion beckoned for me to return here at once daily, and I am now going to. I feel results in my life are now on the way.

Picture taken from here

 

 

Power of Love

I had the wonderful escalation of love yesterday. When love is shared between two souls, there is nothing more powerful. You feel happy, inspired, fulfilled, ready to take on the world. If you can have that special connection with someone, it will fill your soul and take you onto the path of joy. If you have not yet found your soul mate or that special person with which to share love, you must first find love with yourself. Yesterday, because of that connection shared with another, I felt more myself than I have ever felt before.

Make life fun

Make life fun, that is my lesson for the day. Once I got some other things in balance with a great conversation with my companion, I started to settle into my soul. I played some Gran Turismo 5, trying to race this old tub on wheels, a 1944 Volkswagen Schwimmwagen. I tuned it up, and no matter what I did, when I hit the breaks, this car wanted to ride on two wheels or flip over or spin out! I was getting very frustrated with it all. Well, instead of letting it ruin the day, I looked up some help online and found some tweaks I could make to the car to actually make it a real blast to drive! Having a car that usually tops out at 60 MPH really makes you appreciate the track, and appreciate when you can tune it up to higher speeds and maneuverability.

I also decided to have more fun eating today. I had a wonderful breakfast from Panera Bread. Then for dinner/lunch I decided to go all out. A Pizza Extravaganza from Domnios, with toppings including Beef, Sausage, peperoni, onion, mushroom, olive and tomato! I think even more may have been on it. Oh and it was delicious! I savored every bite, and was happy as I ate. I only ate two slices, as to not over-stuff myself. I went in with the intention of losing weight even while eating this. Later on, I did a good workout on the Wii Fit for more than my usual. After that, I weighed myself on the scale to see I actually LOST weight even after indulging in some delicious food today! You have to make life fun to get the most of it!